Maybe it’s time. Hubby seems to think so. Whatever is going on with Aja’s stomach is not letting up. The blood has diminished but the gassy smell will knock you over. And now she is having to pee at least every hour and having accidents in the house. She doesn’t even realize she is doing it. I took her out and she peed twice, came back in the house and not 10 minutes later she had an accident. What amazes me is she can go the whole night without an accident. I just don’t get it. Lord, PLEASE tell me what to do! I don’t want to make the wrong decision! If it’s time, I need to know it’s time. If it’s not, I need to know why I should keep fighting. The vet says 2-3 months and it’s been almost 2 weeks and we are seeing a downward trend. Yes, she has good days, then she has bad days. But everything seems like so much of an effort for her now. Her hind legs seem so weak. I don’t want her to hang on just for us. But she loves us that much so she will. This is so hard! Why do I have to be the one to make the decision! I want to do what’s best for her but I don’t want to let her go. I am just so conflicted.

She has an appointment at the vet on Friday that was made before the Sunday emergency one. I’m letting it stand. I’ll see how she is by then and then we will make a decision. How come this is my daughters dog and I get the honor of doing the suffering? Why is that. She gets the easy part. I want to be angry with her for putting me in this position. I didn’t want a dog! She did! But who raised it? Me! Who got attached to it? Me! Who cleaned up after it, worried about it, fed, watered and walked it? ME! Who doesn’t want to say goodbye? ME! She just doesn’t get it and that doesn’t help.

Lord, please give me strength and lead me to the right decision for this animal. Amen.

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