Well it’s been 2 weeks now and I have to say it has been a roller coaster ride. And I’m exhausted. More emotionally than anything. And so conflicted! I don’t know what to do so I am leaving it up to God and Aja to tell me when it’s time.
Aja has an appointment with the vet in the morning. We will see what happens then. Either I will come home with her or I won’t. I know that sounds cold but it’s the truth. Hopefully she will have a good day and he will say give her some more time. Can I do that? I have to. But if we are moving, and now that is up in the air, it will be a lot harder to get her to the vet. I refuse to be selfish. Aja’s needs are most important but if we get the point where she is just so tired we are seriously going to have to decide. It is such an effort for her to walk across the parking lot now. It wears her out. Yes it’s hot and that has a lot to do with it but she is just so tired now. When I took her out earlier she peed – 3 times! – and then pooped. Back and forth across the parking lot. I don’t know if her bladder is giving out or if it’s all the water she is drinking. I just don’t know.
That seems to be all I say anymore. I JUST DON’T KNOW! And I don’t – everything is so up in the air I want to just scream. I will – later. One praise report though. We cut Aja’s Prednisone dose down from 3 pills daily to 1 1/2 pills last Sunday. The tumors have not enlarged. Thank you Jesus! I am so grateful for that.
One day at a time. That’s all I ask for Lord. Just one day at a time.