Well, that’s what THEY say anyway. Aja has been gone a week now and my last thought before falling asleep and my first waking thought are of her. I miss her terribly. I don’t miss falling over her or picking up her poop or her shaking when it thundered but I do miss her presence, her personality, the odd faces she made. her “talking” and a host of other things I won’t mention because I’ll cry. But most of all I miss the love. You know the saying – you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it – well I guess that’s how we feel. Aja was a much bigger part of this family than either of us realized and there is a definite hole in the family now. It will get better, I know it will. I just have to give it TIME!
Added to that is the fact that we haven’t heard one word from our daughter. I know she had distanced herself from the dog over the last 5 years and she didn’t really know her anymore but I thought maybe she would call to see how we are doing. I guess she just doesn’t realize what a hard decision that was to make. She is one of those people who has the attitude that says – if I don’t acknowledge it, it isn’t happening. Well how very nice for her. Wish I could live in that world. She forgets that we took care of Aja for her entire life and she was supposed to be Sarah’s dog! We didn’t even get a thank you. I guess it was expected. Not by us, that’s for sure!
Sunday daughter Sarah will be 23 years old. We have never felt farther away from her. Now that Aja is gone she has no reason to call or even visit. I guess we have finally become the “other” life to her. Don’t get me wrong, we are very proud of her. She graduated from college with a double major, got herself a job – that had nothing to do with either major – but a job none the less, moved in with her boyfriend and is trying to make a life for herself. Mom and Dad got dropped like hot potatoes. She doesn’t need us anymore – or so she thinks. I just hope I live long enough to be needed again – for whatever reason – by one of my children. Doesn’t make me sound like a very good mother, does it? Oh well, I tried.
Lord, please give me strength, and peace, and direction. Amen